Tips for first dates you met an interesting person. And now it’s time for your first date.
You already feel a bit of excitement and of course want to do everything “right”.
And that’s probably why many questions come to mind:
What should be considered at the first meeting?
What do you say on the first date?
What do I wear?
Are there rules for dating?
How do you greet each other? Kiss-kisses, hug or just give each other a hand?
Where do you meet best?
That you ask these things is great. It shows that the date is important to you and you want to leave a good impression. But all these things are just small details. What really makes you more attractive and makes your first date unique is other things. In this article I would like to give you three tips for your first date, which will make you more attractive and bring you a memorable and exciting date. If you think that is not enough for you join us our free chat room and get more experience I hope you are brave enough to really apply these 3 date tips.
- 1 1ST FIRST DATE: DO NOT TRY TO PLEASE YOUR COUNTERPART
- 2 Are you adjusting?
- 3 2. ASK QUESTIONS THAT GO DEEPER
- 4 Fear of silence
- 5 3. SHOW YOU VULNERABLE ON THE FIRST DATE
- 6 My initiative also opened and made her vulnerable.
- 7 FIRST DATE & NO-GOS
- 8 1. Smartphone
- 9 2. Pausing on the first date
- 10 3. Just talk about you
1ST FIRST DATE: DO NOT TRY TO PLEASE YOUR COUNTERPART
Yes, you are reading correctly. Do not try to please your counterpart. It does not work to please your counterpart at any cost and ultimately makes you unattractive. Unfortunately, most people try to please their counterpart at the beginning at any cost (which is why they feel so much negative excitement before the first date.)
How does it look for you?
Are you adjusting?
Are you trying to give yourself the way you think it will please your counterpart? Do you think about which story or which topic of conversation will leave the most impression? Stop wanting your crush at any cost. Other people feel when you pretend. You’re probably scared to wink and not like other people. But that’s exactly what the first date is about! Stop hiding your nooks and crannies. Dating tips for the first meeting being attractive does not mean conquering every woman or man. Being attractive means attracting the people that suit us. And you achieve that by polarizing. To polarize means to split the bearings. If you stand by your views and values and express them clearly, some will like them and not others. And that’s the whole point. The worst reaction you can give is not aversion but indifference. Indifference means you are lukewarm, you are not tangible, and you have no character. Indifference means that you do not raise any emotions in your opponent. Then you’re just “OK”, “okay”, or maybe “nice”. But that does not help you with your dating.
Stand by your values and views. Be brave. Risk something. Either your counterpart is enthusiastic or you realize that it does not fit. But stop liking everyone. It just makes you unattractive.
2. ASK QUESTIONS THAT GO DEEPER
To ask many questions at the first meeting is completely normal. By asking questions, we learn more about our counterpart and get to know him better. However, there are questions that lead to fascinating and profound conversations, and there are questions that only keep us on the surface.
What are you working?
I work for a medium-sized company in sales.
Are you enjoying it?
Sometimes yes sometimes no.
Aha. Are your colleagues nice?
Yes, with some I understand myself well and do something private. Others are just work colleagues. Understand. And from when to when do you work? Granted, that was a very dry example now. But in some ways, the conversations on many dates look like. But all these questions do not make you get to know each other better.
There are logical questions to follow the logical answers. Do not get me wrong. It’s okay to ask “normal” questions:
What are you working?
Do you have siblings?
Where were you born?
What is your favorite movie?
But if a conversation consists only of such questions, your first date is as boring as a chancellor duel.
Questions for the first date that go deeper
So it’s about asking questions that lead to deeper topics of conversation. On topics that move people.
Get to know each other on the first date Embarrassing moments, childhood dreams, relationships, fears, longings, friendships, love, adventure, sex, the meaning of life, longings, unforgettable parties, the world’s most beautiful sunset.
Did she actually notice that I listed the word “longings twice”? Yes? You fox. So ask questions that will tell you more about your counterpart at a deep level. Think about which questions you would like to ask. Here are some sample questions:
Are there any experiences that have changed your life?
Who is the most important person in your life?
What was the best sex you ever had?
When was the last time you cried in the presence of another person?
Do you have a secret that nobody knows?
How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
Fear of silence
Many people ask logical and superficial things because they are afraid of silence and cannot think of anything better. But it does not matter if a little silence arises on the first date. Silence is a nice way to find out if you fit together. People with whom we can talk long and uninterruptedly are great. People with whom we can talk for a long time and it is alright to say nothing for a while are fantastic. You should not ask superficial questions on your first date, just to avoid a few moments of silence or to prolong a boring conversation even further. What should you not talk about on your first date? There are a few topics that you prefer not to address first or very carefully.
Religion and faith.
Of course, there are always exceptions, but in general, it is better if you make these talks when you first get to know each other.
3. SHOW YOU VULNERABLE ON THE FIRST DATE
Do you know what my best first date was or at least one of my best? A date that made me vulnerable to the woman from the start. I sat with her over a glass of white wine in a small, wicked bar. We had talked about movies, travel, and other niceties. Then I started to talk about how alone and sometimes lonely I feel as a world traveler. I explained that it was interesting to see so many countries and to immerse themselves in different cultures, but sometimes I feel lost and wish for a home. So I was vulnerable: I explained what’s going on inside of me, what moved me emotionally, and that I, too, have problems, worries, and uncertainties.
My initiative also opened and made her vulnerable.
We talked about our fathers and our complicated relationships with them, about loneliness and about our fears. After a few hours we were very familiar and had the feeling that we had known each other for a long time and could tell us everything. More about this in this short video from me:
Vulnerability leads to trust
If you have a first date, show yourself vulnerable. This means that you open up emotionally and also tell your counterpart about your weaknesses, fears and insecurities.
Do not be afraid to show you vulnerable.
Get to know your vulnerable side of the data
It will make you more familiar and a deep emotional connection between you. But do not get it wrong. It’s not about puking your opponent’s troubles and worries at the feet and begging him on his knees to help you. This is unattractive and hardly anyone is attracted to such a person. But explaining to your date that you too have your job sites and not everything in your life is always going well leads to trust and closeness. Look at it this way: Almost all people have similar worries, fears and problems.
We will leave.
Sometimes we do not know what we want in life.
We all have certain fears.
And it’s exactly these things that connect us.
When I have a date with a woman and she tells me for hours how great her job is, how great her life is and how great her “beautiful” living room looks, then I may admire this woman, but I do not really get to know her. If she tells me what her biggest fear is, what she was dreaming about as a child or what was the best moment in her life, then I’ll get to know her on a deeper level. It is often the uncertainties, fears, and dreams that connect us to another person, not his salary, his car, or his oh-so-important alumni grade. By making yourself vulnerable, you also give others the opportunity to become vulnerable and open themselves to you. More about vulnerability, why it makes you more attractive and what you should look out for, you will learn in this article.
FIRST DATE & NO-GOS
Apart from the previous tips, I would like to briefly comment on 3 NO-GOs – things that you should definitely avoid.
Yes, these things are part of the lives of most people, but at a first meeting they have no business. I find hardly anything more terrible than a woman who constantly peers on a date on her smartphone or even taps on it. Entertainment or smartphone! You cannot do both. You should avoid this when getting to know each other either we talk and get to know each other or you take care of your ultrawichte emails, What Sapp messages , talk to strangers app and Facebook matters. But both are not possible.
2. Pausing on the first date
If there is one trait that makes every man and woman unattractive, then it is nagging and complaining. A meticulous listing of your last year’s colds is just as inappropriate as dragging you over your workmate or ex-husband for half an hour. If you are dissatisfied with your life and you feel so bad, change it, but do not leave it out to others – especially not on a date.
3. Just talk about you
It’s great when you talk about yourself. As a result, your counterpart learns more about you. But if you only tell about yourself, you will be perceived as a selfish narcissist. If the other person is telling you, you should do two things: Really listen to him. This means that you are not just waiting for your turn to speak. Inquire to learn more about him and signal interest. First date – and after? This is how you prepare the second date I am often asked these questions: How do I behave after the first date?
When should I ask after the second meeting?
What’s the best way to ask after that?
So: how does one behave after the first date?
If you have a great first date, the best bet is not to drive you crazy. Probably the other person liked the date as much as you did. So do not make it any more complicated than it is. Wait a few days and then just propose a new date. If the person finds you attractive and interesting, she will agree. And if not, then it does not seem to fit. If someone stops talking to you or does not want to meet you, 99% of the time, it’s not because you logged in at the wrong time or wrote the wrong message. It is simply because this person is not interested in you. So relax and do not go crazy. It has never cut down to force things. Especially not in dating.